0. Me, Myself and I
- Jessica Rabbit
- Oct 25, 2017
- 2 min read
Before losing my virginity at 17, I never understood the hullabaloo around sex. Obviously, having never experienced it, it just sounded messy, dangerous and...well, gross. Why would anyone want to do that? I'd seen a few penises before (on pornography, mostly) and they were ugly-looking things. Mean-looking, even, when erect. I remember the first time that I watched porn - accidentally, after sneaking into my older brother's room with my elder sister and a girlfriend at age 12 wanting to watch a movie and then turning on the VCR and pressing play.

A blonde woman with an over-inflated chest and bad fake tan was being absolutely pounded from behind on a staircase, gripping onto the railing and grimacing and groaning in what I assumed was serious pain. I was horrified by the look on her face and the terrible sounds that she was making. That man was clearly hurting her! Why didn't he stop? It was horrific!
I first started to explore my sexuality when I was about 14 and was curious to see what was really going on 'down there.' Grabbing a mirror, I took a seat on my bedroom floor and got up-close-and-personal with my own lady bits, experiencing my first orgasm. It was so intense. After that, I was insatiable - spending days in bed just touching myself, regularly orgasming up to 10 times a day. Thankfully prior to my sexual awakening I was a bookworm and bed-body anyway, so my absence in the family swimming pool during summer wasn't all that unusual...
Some years later, as a rather ugly kid I'd had only a few childish high-school relationships that went no further than a little boob groping over the bra. I was 17 - and damn-near terrified - when my high-school boyfriend suggested that he pick up some condoms. We were on our way back to a hotel room that we had booked for a weekend away to celebrate our third month anniversary. I knew that this was what we had planned, but the reality was so much scarier because of all of the stories I had heard from girlfriends, and things that i'd read...and accidentally seen. Would it be unbearably painful? Would I bleed everywhere? What if I got pregnant? Even though we were going to use a condom and I was already on the pill, well, you just never knew...it could happen, right? I heard women got pregnant in spa baths and from sitting on toilet seats!
Which leads us the story of number one...
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